Overcoming shyness: can you dance your way out of a shy space?

The tiny ballerina finds her feet and her confidence

Growing up I was a known for being a shy kid. If you know me now, this may come as a surprise, since I am fairly outgoing and love a good social outing. Though I still have a shy moment, or two occasionally.

As a kid, it was a whole different ball game. Even if someone (including my grandparents) phoned to wish me a happy birthday, I would steadfastly refuse, and hide under the bed until Mum gave up on the whole caper.  The thought of speaking to a group of other kids terrified me, and I dreaded any event where I would be the centre of attention.

My Mum, being the wise woman that she is, enrolled myself and my sisters and brothers in all kinds of activities. Drama, gymnastics, dancing, Brownies, Girl Guides, Scouts, and a whole bunch of sports. With four kids, Mum probably had an ulterior motive of keeping us occupied, not to mention burning off some energy. However, the added bonus was building our confidence.

Whether it was setting up a tent at guides, taking a drama class, or competing in an athletics event, over the years we all became well-rounded kids, who also found it easier to make friends and as we got older, socialize.  None of us were world champions, but we all had fun and tried new things, making new mates along the way.

Fast forward to the present, and Little L announced a few weeks ago she would LOVE to learn ballet.   Now, although she is a bubbly little poppet at home, put her in front of strangers and she turns into a little deer in the headlights.

Frozen.

Rigid with fear.

So, I wondered, was a ballet class a good idea?

Casting any doubts aside, we purchased the kit (shoes, tutu, and of course little pale pink tights), and set off for the local Church hall (where all good ballet class are held). Little L’s first week of ballet involved her sitting at the edge of the dance-floor, with her big blue eyes peeking out from under her fringe watching the other little ballerinas.  She tiptoed into the middle of the little group for about 30 seconds towards the end, then scampered back to her spot, tears in her little eyes. ‘It’s really scary’ she whispered to me.  My heart sank – was I doing the right thing? Should I bring her back if she is this anxious? Afterwards, the lovely patient teacher, said quietly, ‘just keep doing what you are doing, don’t rush her, keep gently encouraging her’. In the car afterwards, when I asked Little L, ‘how was ballet?’, she replied, ‘AMAZING, did you see me?’. Of course, I said, you were amazing.

So we persevered. The following week, she migrated from the edge of the dance-floor to the middle of the group for about half of the lesson, but stayed still as a statue, watching the ballerinas dance by.  Again, she thought she had done an AMAZING job, and that ballet was ‘wonderful’.

Which brings us to this week, when my shy little poppet, bravely ventured in the middle of the group and danced her little heart for the whole class, with a huge grin on her little face the whole time.

‘I did it’ she told me proudly at the end.

‘Yes, you did, and I am very proud’. Cue huge sigh of relief from me, as a parent and a formerly shy kid. Sure it’s tough to watch your little poppet struggle to be brave and face their fears, but when they  overcome a fear, even one as sweet as dancing in a ballet class, it’s an amazing feeling.

Enjoy xx